Acceptance

As I wait to withdraw my pension, I realize how much Chennai has changed over the past 71 years and 2 months. I have been in Chennai all my life and yes I have had my share of travel in the past but have always called Chennai my home. I see new machines at the teller counters and more electronics all over the bank. But few things have not changed. I realized that the minute I saw a dad bring his 12 year old son with him to the bank. They sat down next to me and the boy asked his father, "Daddy, am I really getting my own account where I can put all my money into?" and then they went to talk about how the boy will be able to save his earnings here in the future. In India, especially in the southern parts, people believe in saving for the future and as a practice introduce their children to the system of banking very early. I sat back in my chair and looked at my hands and the wrinkled skin. I sat there recollecting the incidents of the day when I brought my son along to the bank. He was very excited and happy that he will be able to handle his money all by himself from that day. I chose to keep the concepts of a minor account and guardian away from him that day. He was happy to sign all the application forms and as he pulled out his savings of five hundred and thirty two rupees, his face was full of pride and he looked so pleased and calm, the way everyone who has achieved something worthwhile did. I felt proud of him and as he strolled across the office trying to understand what was happening, I signed all those applications forms assuring the bank that I am the guardian till my son completes 18 years of age.

We spoke a lot about how banks worked and I explained everything to him repeatedly till he was satisfied that his money was safe. As we drove home, in the car that he chose, I saw him look longingly at the kids who were playing cricket. I worked in the Indian Air Force and recently we had moved to a new residential locality where he did not have many friends. (I chose to join the Air Force when the Indo-China war broke out. I wanted to do my bit to make sure my children had a better future in a safe and independent country).

That day as we drove back, we stopped in a sports shop and I got my son, Arun, his first cricket bat. He was the happiest boy on the face of the earth, holding his bank passbook in one hand and his cricket bat in the other. I used to play squash everyday in the evening but from that day onward, I stopped playing squash and played cricket with Arun, for there were not many children he could play with in our colony. After every game, which was always won by Arun, he used to run to me and hug me. We both loved being in each other's company.

"Token number 615" the bank announcement system called out. I opened my eyes and came back into reality. I slowly stood up and wiped a small tear from my eyes and walked up to the counter and collected my pension of twelve thousand rupees. I still like to rely on my own resources of income and do not intend to trouble my son for money even though he would love to get me anything I want.

I walked out of the bank and opened my umbrella. Chennai has always been hot and humid. But over the past few years, it’s been getting worse and I have been finding it tough to move around in the city. But my son and his family are here in Chennai. How can I leave them?

As I walked back, I went back to thinking of my son. As a baby, Arun used to cry every time my moustache touched his face as I kissed his cheek. I realized that it might be hurting him. I never sported a moustache after that. I recalled how I used to give him extra pocket money without his mother knowing it and how I agreed to the girl whom he loved and got them married.

After walking for almost ten minutes, I reached my home. I saw a few men outside the gate. They were fixing up a new board. Ah yes, the new board has been pending for long. The new board read 'Help age India Homes'. This has been my home since 2004, the year I retired from work. A few months after having been at home, I had a talk with my son and came to understand that it was getting tough for him to take care of me. My wife had passed away in 2000 and I chose to stay with my son after retirement. He told me about this home that day and told me how well I would be taken care of here. I understood his situation. He offered to sponsor my stay here but I refused and chose to live on my pension. I am proud of my son and I know he is trying to make me a proud father. I am humbled in front of God for having blessed me with a son who scales new peaks and often finds a space in the newspapers. I know he loves me. He said so he called me on April 14, for the Tamil New Year. I hope I am a grandfather by now. I will get to know if I am or not when he calls me for Deepavali this year. As I sit in my room in my home, I pray to God, to take care of my son his family and I hope he would know I love him as much as he loves me. I hope he understands that I want to be with him now just the way he wanted to be with me when he was young. I hope he understands that I love him the way he would love his own child. I hope, he will realize, he has been my world from the minute he was born and will be so till my last breath. It’s been 5 years since I met him and wish I could see him and his family once before that last breath.