To each his own

Today I am preparing to attend interviews, yet again. This is the fourth company I will be attending and have asked my father to give me a lift to the venue campus. I expect to compete with almost 800 engineers who passed out in May 2010 along with me. I know I have to make it through to this company at least lest I lose respect amongst family and friends. I come from a middle class family in Chennai. I am the only son to my parents and I have been their meaning of life for the past 21 years.

My mom emerged from the puja room as I was about to leave and put a tilak with the sacred ash on my forehead. She said I will get this job for sure and that she was sure about it. I smiled to myself. She loved me more than anything in this world. I left my home with my dad. 

We have a Maruti 800, a car that is probably driven by most of the Indian households. I sat on the front with my dad. As we left home, I recalled the days when my dad had a Bajaj Chetak scooter. That used to be my family's only mode of transport and most often where we went, ate, shopped were all decided by me. Nothing was denied to me. My dad was more like my hero and I believe I was his. All three of us used to have fun like no one else could. 

Oh, talking of heroes, how can I forget the long list of people who had influenced me - Abdul Kalam, Mother Teresa, Rajnikanth, Srinath (no, not Sachin!), then there were those poets who made me dream and the scientists who made me aspire... My list of heroes were long and the list of things I wanted to be were equally long. We reached the venue. I said good bye to my dad and went into the test hall. 

The test contained questions for which I doubted even if the person who made the question paper knew the answers. But then, 5 seats ahead, a geeky guy, with well oiled hair and glasses, sat filling up answers at lightning speed. The test got over and the shortlist was released. I didn't make the cut. Tears welled up. I thought I will never be able to face the world and had no where to go. I sat there as the hall emptied. I did not want to leave. But the maintenance guys came in and told me to leave and I had no option but to follow the crowd. As I got out of the hall, at a distance I saw someone familiar - Dad! Oh no! What do I tell him? Why is he here? Does he know the results already? I am going to be in a big mess.

I neared him and not a second later, he hugged me. He whispered in my ears, "No matter what happens, I am proud of you my son. For having tried. For having tried when many would have given up. Stand up and face  the world with pride, you have a reason to be proud and I shall walk by your side to see you conquer the world. Now, let's go home."

As we got into the car again, I realised one point, I have always had and will have only one hero - my first hero, Dad. The rest are just inspirations to me not heroes. 

Namma Bengaluru...

All my previous posts have always been a fictional story built around a thought or a concept. But this post is going to be my first post of reality - the past and the present.

June 22nd 2008, I left Chennai to join my first job in Bangalore. Fresh out of college, I had my own internal battles being fought at that time. I was in Coimbatore all my life till we moved to Chennai in early June 2008. After helping my family settle down in Chennai, I moved to Bangalore to join my job. New place, new world of professionals and new people. I told myself that it was going to be tough.

I was lucky to meet great human beings and talented professionals in Bangalore both at work and outside. I learnt and grew with them. I came to call them my family and made great friends here. Friends who were there to help me during times of personal issues, people who always took me home when I was on the streets (I got kicked out of the place where I used to stay - Twice!! ), people who told me how important everyday learning was, people who taught me how to better my own records everyday, people who taught me to love, teach & give and most importantly, people who believed in me. While in Bangalore, I used to wait for chances to go to Coimbatore, my hometown. A city that was filled with memories, friends and family. In fact I loved travelling to Coimbatore more than travelling to Chennai.

I moved to Chennai on August 27, 2010. A month later, 16th October 2010, I was required to travel to Bangalore on official work. As came back to the city that taught me and gave me so much, in the 2 years I spent here, I felt a home-coming of sorts. Everything about the city seemed beautiful. And I got to meet at-least a few of those special friends who made my life (and pictures) look good for the past 2 years... the Forum, Krishna Kafe, Corner House Ice cream (DBC), dosas in a local mess in madiwala and stay with my old roommate just made 48 hours seem like 48 seconds. As I prepare to get back, I have realised, I will love Bangalore they way I love Coimbatore. Not because of the malls, not because of the food, not because of sweet chariots or cafe coffee days, but because of the memories associated with all these places and because of the loved ones who made those memories so special.

Namma Bengaluru, Beautiful Bengaluru! 

For you a thousand times over....

"Krishna..."

She made me a skip a heartbeat yet again. I have known Divya for a little over a year now and yet my heart skipped a beat every time she said my name. I met her during my final year at college. We had met at an intercollegiate cultural contest and ran into each other by chance. Then I started running into her on purpose and eventually she started too. A cheerful girl and full of life and energy, Divya was all that I was not. Sensible, composed, rational - she was the one who could fill all my voids and together we complemented each other well. She was as insanely in love with me as I was with her. 

Long walks in the evenings and coffees in CCD were how we spent most of our time together. It was during one such long walk, that she dared me to kiss her. I get along well with people and mingle with strangers easily. But to kiss a girl in the middle of a road in my neighbourhood was something. Given the fact that both of us are from orthodox brahmin families in Tamilnadu makes it more than something. All the eyes on earth seemed to be looking at me including those of the girl who meant everything to me. I just smiled and held her hand and kept walking. My heartbeats going faster than ever. I was just hoping she would not hear the loud thumps of my heart. She understood and walked with me. Which made me want to kiss her all the more. She understood me so well and how can I deny her anything she wanted? And so, I did it. Kissed her in the middle of the road. Threw all care and fear to the wind and kissed my Divya for the first time ever.

I don't know how long it lasted. But it seemed like a lifetime. It was totally worth it not only because I kissed her but because of the look she gave me after that. A look which simply said that she knew how much I loved her, that she trusted me and she knew I will never deny her anything. She held my hand tighter and we walked in silence.

Six months have passed since then. Lot of things happened including her engagement to someone else. From our fairytale love story to the realities of the present world, we both were pushed to corners where we either had to give up the 22 years of love given to us by our families or the 1 year of love that we both shared. We then decided to hurt ourselves rather than hurt our families and let them proceed with their plans.

"Krishna..." she called me again. Took me a minute to snap out of the memories of the past and get back to her call on my mobile. "Yes Divya, am here... Tell me"

"Nee kalyanathukku varuva thaane? Unna naan expect pannuven... " ("You would come for my wedding right? I would be expecting you")

"Of course yes Divya. I will be there. How can I not come to your wedding?  Don't worry. I will be there." 

And the call ended there. As I went back to memories of her, one thing was clear, I could never deny her anything she wanted. Over the past one year my objective has been to keep her happy. Over the next 24 hours, the objective will be redefined as - making sure she is happy with or without me.