What work and family (the larger circle) taught me about each other

This is not an attempt to be cynical about the existing systems. This note is more of an observation/realization on how 2 systems  share a few working patterns. And as the enlightened say - 'to detach oneself from these systems, brings you greater productivity and peace of mind'. 

Perpetual Motion 

According to one definition on Wikipedia -  "the motion of a hypothetical machine which, once activated, would run forever unless subject to an external force or to wear"

While we try and have a great time with family, friends, fellow workers, our ultimate goal, in my perspective, is to build systems that can go on  without us having to be around.

At work - we try and build systems and processes which require the least manual intervention. Usually as the saying goes, once built, a company is too large to stop due to the loss of an individual.

At home - we try and build enough resources to take care of our loved ones in the form of larger circles of friends, family, and also a better sources of money.

We build these systems so that they continue to go on, with or without us.

Creating Leaders

Both at work and home - we create and educate our next generation of leaders. We try and groom a deserving successor who will carry on our mission to greater heights.

No man is an island

No one works alone. Every person needs a team/family to hold on to. To work for, to work with. Lone wolves tend to fall out sooner or go on to become the best, but either way, they rarely fit in and rarely feel fulfilled.

There is no legacy

At work and at home - only those that shared your time, that truly knew you for what you are, remember you after you have moved on. The ones that join the gang later sometimes know you used to be there and there, their knowledge about you ends.

I would like to end this note with a quote from my friend - "May we find our peace by the riverside!"

May the force be with you.

Differences

Why do I fear you?

Is it because you are old?

Or is it because you stood the test of time and learnt life's lessons well?

May be because I may never reach where you did?

Why do I detest you?

Is it because you are young?

Or is it because you have still the time that I lost to learn lessons?

May be because you will do better than I?

Why do I see myself with doubt?

Is it because I see myself running against time?

Or is it because I fail to accept that the race is actually against myself and not time?

I know why I fear you

I know why I detest you

Cause as long as 'you' remain, so would these emotions

The day 'We' begins, is the day that fear, dislike and doubts end

For, we are but one soul in many forms

From the pages of a diary

"Hello, Hello, Hulllllooooo... are you there? are you awake?" 

"Uhhh.. Ummm.. Yes yes... I am awake Ramya.. Don't worry.." 

"Ravi, its 2am in the morning and I know you have a had a long day and you also seem sleepy and tired, why don't you sleep now and we can talk later..?" 

"No no.. I got up.. This birthday I am gonna try and spend every minute possible with you.." 

I am Ravi and it is my birthday today. Ramya is the girl I intend to make my life partner and our families have agreed too. Our engagement will happen next week and 2 months later will be our wedding. I have known her for quite a few years now, neighbours during our school days and we both ended up going to the same engineering college. Somehow, Ramya and me have always understood each other and this love and understanding was never formally proposed. We just understood it. We are in different timezones of the world now and thousands of miles apart from each other. But, the ability to be with each other even in the physical absence is possible only in love. She makes me feel her presence every minute and her suggestions and thoughts make a better person out of me with every passing day. While I know this call with her cannot go on all day long, I know that she will still be with me after the call has ended. Love  for me in short in the ability to be in each other's presence even though a physical distance may exist. Me and Ramya have found enough reasons to fall in love with each other again and again every day and with that love, I shall always have everything I will ever need. 

I am what I am

"Brindha, Brindha come here!" "Brindha...." "Coming Ramesh... hold on" "Tell me, is the world falling apart? Why are you going Brindha this Brindha that?" 

Ramesh looked at his wife. "Brindha, why have you packed all of this? I am not taking junk to our new home.... Our new home will be not be filled with stuff and it will be as beautiful as it can possibly be." "Ramesh, dont get started on your love for the new home... These are all your stuff from your school days. You decide whether you want to bring them along or not..."

A common scene in a Tamilian family when they move to a new 'rented' home. The scene gets better if they are finally moving to their 'own' home. Most middle class Tamilian families do not have the ancestral homes, so typically, you find everything they own - from medals won during thier school days to their office BlackBerrys - staying with them in their homes!

Ramesh was suprised on hearing Brindha's statement. "These are mine?" he asked. "Yes!" came the reply from wherever she was packing the rest of the household items. Mr and Mrs Ramesh had recently purchased an apartment in a upcoming residential area in Chennai. Eventhough the house was not big, Ramesh was bent on making it look clean and having only the bare essentials stay in the house. As he sat down to check the carton box, he saw a few of his old T shirts from the school sports team. He used to play basketball for the school team. His medals and few old photographs.... "Photographs.. Yes, let me see them" "Oh these are my sixth standard pictures and I am here and the guy next to me should be Satish... Wonder what happened to him. He used to be my best friend. Ever since we parted ways in college, its been tough staying in touch with him.. I have to see if I still have the gift he gave me in 7th standard..." Ramesh went through the contents of the box one after the other and finally found what he was searching for - an old cricket ball. Satish had saved for quite a few months to gift Ramesh this. Ramesh wanted to be a pace bowler and they had their own team - Raja, Ram, all were a part of this team. Ramesh sat there looking at everything he had pulled out from the box. His memories and his past. He realised these memories were an integral part of him and his life. Brindha walked into the room, " Oh Ramesh, what have you done? Why have you pulled everything out of the box? Anyway, lets just leave them there, if they are  junk, lets not waste time in packing them and carrying them. Lets dump them here." Ramesh softly told, "These are not garbage Brindha. These are what have made me what I am today. They have and will always define me. They cannot be left behind." Ramesh was emotional with memories of his long lost friends - people who he had hurt, let down, to who he owed an apology and those he had held up high, those that he stood by - all of them were missed. Brindha gave him a hug and said, "I know these are far more precious than the house Ramesh. Thats why I had packed them all up for you. Your past is as important to me as it is to you. Lets us pack these up again and treasure these and the moments to come in our new home."

Hold my hand

I see Bangalore's ever changing skyline as I look out of my window on this cold morning. I reach out out for my glasses as I try to get a better view of the people who are taking their morning walks in my apartment. Just trying to see if any of my friends are out there already. I go out to the living room. As expected, the house is empty and people who live here have already left for work. Kumar works for a major IT company as the Manager and always leaves early and returns late. Mrs. Sneha Kumar, his wife, also leaves early as she has to travel quite a distance to reach her office. Rajamma, the cook and servant maid, emerges from the kitchen and tells me, "Good morning Arun dear. Now go brush your teeth while I get your Complan ready." I drag my 11 year old feet towards the bathroom to brush. Yes, I am 11 and my name is Arun. Kumar and Sneha are my parents. 30 minutes later, I am ready and all my books are packed and am ready to meet my classmates in 6th standard C section after the Half Yearly Holidays. My day at school is a lot of fun with friends, sports and enjoyable lunch (Rajamma is a great cook). I return home at 6pm only to find the house empty again. Rajamma took my bags at the gate and she had already cooked something for me to eat. Close to 7pm, as I was oing my homework, I heard Sneha enter the room. She came to my room, greeted me, kissed me on my forehead and went to her room. Kumar came half an hour later but did not come to my room. Bad day at work I guess. 8.15pm, Rajamma called out that the dinner was ready. As I got up from my table, I slipped. I fell and cried out, "Amma" in pain. Rajamma came running to me to see if I was ok while Sneha called out to Rajamma from her room to see if I was ok. Little did Sneha realise that, Rajamma was the 'Amma' I called out to. Sneha was just Sneha not Amma. 

To each his own

Today I am preparing to attend interviews, yet again. This is the fourth company I will be attending and have asked my father to give me a lift to the venue campus. I expect to compete with almost 800 engineers who passed out in May 2010 along with me. I know I have to make it through to this company at least lest I lose respect amongst family and friends. I come from a middle class family in Chennai. I am the only son to my parents and I have been their meaning of life for the past 21 years.

My mom emerged from the puja room as I was about to leave and put a tilak with the sacred ash on my forehead. She said I will get this job for sure and that she was sure about it. I smiled to myself. She loved me more than anything in this world. I left my home with my dad. 

We have a Maruti 800, a car that is probably driven by most of the Indian households. I sat on the front with my dad. As we left home, I recalled the days when my dad had a Bajaj Chetak scooter. That used to be my family's only mode of transport and most often where we went, ate, shopped were all decided by me. Nothing was denied to me. My dad was more like my hero and I believe I was his. All three of us used to have fun like no one else could. 

Oh, talking of heroes, how can I forget the long list of people who had influenced me - Abdul Kalam, Mother Teresa, Rajnikanth, Srinath (no, not Sachin!), then there were those poets who made me dream and the scientists who made me aspire... My list of heroes were long and the list of things I wanted to be were equally long. We reached the venue. I said good bye to my dad and went into the test hall. 

The test contained questions for which I doubted even if the person who made the question paper knew the answers. But then, 5 seats ahead, a geeky guy, with well oiled hair and glasses, sat filling up answers at lightning speed. The test got over and the shortlist was released. I didn't make the cut. Tears welled up. I thought I will never be able to face the world and had no where to go. I sat there as the hall emptied. I did not want to leave. But the maintenance guys came in and told me to leave and I had no option but to follow the crowd. As I got out of the hall, at a distance I saw someone familiar - Dad! Oh no! What do I tell him? Why is he here? Does he know the results already? I am going to be in a big mess.

I neared him and not a second later, he hugged me. He whispered in my ears, "No matter what happens, I am proud of you my son. For having tried. For having tried when many would have given up. Stand up and face  the world with pride, you have a reason to be proud and I shall walk by your side to see you conquer the world. Now, let's go home."

As we got into the car again, I realised one point, I have always had and will have only one hero - my first hero, Dad. The rest are just inspirations to me not heroes. 

Namma Bengaluru...

All my previous posts have always been a fictional story built around a thought or a concept. But this post is going to be my first post of reality - the past and the present.

June 22nd 2008, I left Chennai to join my first job in Bangalore. Fresh out of college, I had my own internal battles being fought at that time. I was in Coimbatore all my life till we moved to Chennai in early June 2008. After helping my family settle down in Chennai, I moved to Bangalore to join my job. New place, new world of professionals and new people. I told myself that it was going to be tough.

I was lucky to meet great human beings and talented professionals in Bangalore both at work and outside. I learnt and grew with them. I came to call them my family and made great friends here. Friends who were there to help me during times of personal issues, people who always took me home when I was on the streets (I got kicked out of the place where I used to stay - Twice!! ), people who told me how important everyday learning was, people who taught me how to better my own records everyday, people who taught me to love, teach & give and most importantly, people who believed in me. While in Bangalore, I used to wait for chances to go to Coimbatore, my hometown. A city that was filled with memories, friends and family. In fact I loved travelling to Coimbatore more than travelling to Chennai.

I moved to Chennai on August 27, 2010. A month later, 16th October 2010, I was required to travel to Bangalore on official work. As came back to the city that taught me and gave me so much, in the 2 years I spent here, I felt a home-coming of sorts. Everything about the city seemed beautiful. And I got to meet at-least a few of those special friends who made my life (and pictures) look good for the past 2 years... the Forum, Krishna Kafe, Corner House Ice cream (DBC), dosas in a local mess in madiwala and stay with my old roommate just made 48 hours seem like 48 seconds. As I prepare to get back, I have realised, I will love Bangalore they way I love Coimbatore. Not because of the malls, not because of the food, not because of sweet chariots or cafe coffee days, but because of the memories associated with all these places and because of the loved ones who made those memories so special.

Namma Bengaluru, Beautiful Bengaluru!